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Officer Levi Fife...

So a couple of days ago Kathy Griffin guest hosted Larry King Live (which is a misnomer on King's part but I digress) and for some reason Levi Johnston got to be on it with her. I guess those D-listers have to stick together. I didn't watch the whole segment, because I know my physical reaction to it will give me insight on how swine flu feels, but there was one little exchange that I found interesting:

GRIFFIN: ....Can we please talk about Miley Cyrus' performance? OK, let's cut to it. First of all, Miley Cyrus was at the Teen Choice Awards. She comes out in the set of a trailer, which is clearly her own home that they drove out there. She comes out in sexy hot pants, and started grinding, and then went and did a number on the stripper pole.

Then, Levi, who is 19, turns to me and says, isn't she 16? That shocked you, Levi. And you're 19.

JOHNSTON: It did. She did her little thing on the pole. I thought it was a bit inappropriate for the Teen Awards.

GRIFFIN: I agree. You know, even though I'm older than you -- I just turned 24 -- still I think it was too much.

Right on! Way to speak out Levi you're awes-

Wait........

Isn't this the guy who knocked up a 17 year old girl? So lets get this straight, teenage girls should only ride poles that produce out of wedlock babies....RIGHT Levi?

Nonsense like this is like nails on a chalkboard for me, because he is right, but when did the morality police give this guy a badge?

Also, when is anyone going to zap this guy for his unearned fame? The media wont stop going on about how Palin quit being governor to cash in on her national fame giving speeches and making millions to pay for undeserved legal fees. Teenage boys impregnate their girlfriends every day, but this one gets the adulation of the media because his little guys made it with the daughter of a woman who almost became vice president AND....well.....I don't really know what else there is to it.

At least Sarah Palin has done things of consequence in this life. All Johnston did was win the mother load of all life's lotteries. If Bristol Palin's mother wasn't who she was he'd be just another Jerry O'Connell in "Can't Hardly Wait" crashing Homecoming Dances at his old high school and bragging to freshman girls that he "used to run this place" in pathetic attempts to give Tripp some half-siblings.

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I Think Nancy Pelosi's Brain is Made of Astroturf


Considering the source I may have to actually agree with her for once, I think the Queen of Botox knows a thing or two about what fake really is...but thats just me....

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The Obama "Birthers" Movement Needs a Death Certificate

I am fully aware that many, maybe even a majority, of the people who follow my work strenuously disagree with some of the things I'm about to say, but it has to be said.

If the issue of Obama’s birth were actually a baby itself I think I would finally find an acceptable exemption for banning live-birth abortion….The following rant is not a defense of the deity-in-chief, rather, after putting up with loony liberal 9-11 "Truthers" for 8 years this is an attempt to save Conservatives from themselves because frankly I'm tired of having my "conservatives-stand-on-a-higher-moral-plane" bubble busted like it has real estate envy.

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That Cake is So Ugly It Planted the Ugly Tree

To be honest I don't think the author has much of a point or that this is even newsworthy, nevertheless here it is.


I think the bakers actually got it right when you consider Obama probably asked them make something where the look and taste evokes what his administration is all about.

"Sure Mr. President, but we don't know what cluster f*¢k tastes like."

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Its The "You Don't Say" Tax

The Scorpion and the Frog

A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the corpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "Because if I do, I will die too."

The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream,the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp "Why?"

Replies the scorpion: "Its my nature..."

Why on God's greenish-grey and increasingly less white capped Earth would I share this classic fable from the great Aesop? Well, after years of listening to Democrats prattle on about making the rich, and the rich only, pay for all their socialist wet dreams, well guess what?

President Barack Obama's treasury secretary said Sunday he cannot rule out higher taxes to help tame an exploding budget deficit, and his chief economic adviser would not dismiss raising them on middle-class Americans as part of a health care overhaul.

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Hey There Obama...

Big thanks to John Keenan for sending me the link to this...its really funny so check it...

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OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!

Here I go with the videos again....I don't mean to be some kind of poor mans conservative youtube....but again...I MUST share this. This is a clip from a Santa Cruz city council meeting....only in Northern California.....I strive for humor in my work and this chick reminds me I have a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG WAY TO GO.

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I demand to know how this made it a year and almost 3 months without being known by all in today's information age.

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I Have One Thing to Say About the Professor Gates Case...

And then we really REALLY need to move on because....

I'm starting to wonder if this sort of distraction was the sort of on purpose "wag the dog" tactics that rules politics these days. Hey! Remember that health care bill we hated until this shiny object was dangled in our faces?

I'm mean seriously, did he catch a cold from Biden or something? There's no other reason Obama would've been so stupid about his handling of the situation. Therefore the issue is dead to me.

And it should be to you too. Unless your name is Michelle and its "date night" don't let him yank your chain.

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Farewell For Now Sarah P...

If the Obama administration wasn't shedding so many tears from its now drought stricken eyes over President Manuel Zelaya, Honduran Idol reject and future potential architect of the Democratic Party strategy for "transfer of power" should they lose future elections now that there is no frame of reference to check against their failure of a philosophy <deeeeeeeeeeeeeeep breath>, he perhaps would've taken note of a real and unfair political exile going on in his own country now...

Sarah Palin has never struck me as the sharpest tool in the shed, but she is far from dumb and she has a core in which the key ingredients are all the ones that make this country as great and important as it is, and she doesn't hide any of it (incidentally "hope" and "change" aren't on that list of ingredients because when you have God you don't need hope from any man much less one that sounds like his record needle is jumping). 

Her farewell speech was remarkable for being very unpolitician-esque one one hand while at the same time  issuing the strongest, clearest, most succinct, and powerful rebuke of Barack Obama specifically, and the Democratic Party agenda in general that hasn't been seen since the likes of Ronald Reagan.

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Did You Know?

This has absolutely nothing to do with the mission of The Looking Spoon, but I thought it was so interesting and important that its totally post-worthy

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Pretty cool huh? (this sentence assumes you watched, if you didn't watch please go back and invest the 5 minutes it takes to watch the video so reading this wont be a waste of your time)

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