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Conservative Satire News February 9, 2011

GOP Congressman Christopher Lee resigns after shirtless pictures from Craigslist surface. The outraged congressman swears the photos had been doctored, explaining he was fairly certain he wasn't wearing pants either.

Senator Jim Webb (D-VA) announced today that he will not seek a second term and his desire to "not have a life in politics" is not code for "a rematch with George Allen makes macaca my pants."

After announcement of a merger with the Huffington Post AOL loses $315 million in stock, plunging the internet company into debt by approximately $315 million.