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The State Crashers

I don't mean to steal from Bill Maher, but I have a new rule:

We will start to treat the government like a child....if it can handle little boy responsiblities(keeping a couple of uninvited douchebags out of state dinners at the White House)then we can start to consider giving it big boy responsibilities


(health care)



That said I'm no longer entirely convinced that we should be happy that Obama has finally made a decision on how he wants to "finish the job" in Afghanistan....that, Mr. President, sounds very much like a big boy decision for someone who can't even handle the state-crashers on his front lawn.

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His Word Cloud

Now showing in the art gallery under "Christian Inspired"


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Satire Headlines November 13-20

Here's a rundown of the latest entries to the Satire Headline Archives:


GALLUP: OBAMA MAINTAINS STRONG APPROVAL RATING AMONG PUPPIES NOT EXPOSED TO OTHER PEOPLE - November 20

OBAMA DISCOVERS WAY TO NEUTRALIZE BIDEN'S VERBAL DIARRHEA BY CHALLENGING HIM TO COUNT HIGHER THAN NATIONAL DEBT - November 20

OBAMA DEFENDS 71 CAR CHINA MOTORCADE SINCE THE ENVIRONMENT SHOULDN'T GET IN THE WAY OF A HERO'S WELCOME - November 19

TAKING 34 HOURS TO READ, SENATE HEALTH BILL CLOCKS IN AT 10 HOURS LONGER THAN THE CONGRESSIONAL WORK YEAR - November 19

HILLARY CLINTON MAKES UNANNOUNCED TRIP TO AFGHAN-....BREAKING: BILL CLINTON CAUGHT WITH SECRET LOVER IN AFGHANISTAN - November 18

INSPIRED BY DOUG HOFFMAN, HILLARY CLINTON UNCONCEDES 2008-MARRIAGE TO BILL - November 17

BUDGET SURPLUS PROJECTED IF DEMS PROPOSED PLAN FOR INCOME TAX ON FUTURE EARNINGS OF UNBORN CITIZENS PASSES - November 17

OPRAH EDITS OUT PART OF PALIN INTERVIEW WHERE SHE SAYS ALASKANS CAN NOW SEE RUSSIA IN THE WHITE HOUSE - November 16

OBAMA BOW TO JAPAN'S EMPEROR NOT OUT OF RESPECT, WAS HIDING "EXCITEMENT" AT THOUGHT OF BEING EMPEROR OF USA - November 16

BIDEN REPLIES TO GOP CRITICS OF TERROR TRIALS-SAYS "NON-CITIZENS GET ALL SORTS OF COOL STUFF...LIKE PRESIDENT" - November 13

OBAMA GETS AGRESSIVE ON TERROR-SAYS SELF CONFESSING 9-11 MASTERMINDS ARE INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY IN COURT - November 13

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Newsweek Is Not Sexist Because Conservatives Aren't Tender Humans Like Major Hasan

As a general rule...when anyone in the mainstream media tries to tell you something is bad for conservatives, its probably the elixir of life for them.

Take the latest cover of Newsweek graced by Sarah Palin for instance.

Naturally the cover, and the context Newsweek tries to put Palin in sparked some outrage, and it should. While I'm not sure in what way the sexist label is being leveled, I agree that at the very least she would never ever have been treated this way if she were a man or a liberal woman or Rachel Maddow's love child with Clay Aiken (I'm still trying to figure out how she was impregnated by Maddow).

The most outrageous quote from the article has to be a quote from a woman named Nina Berman:

Barack Hussein Obama, on the cover of every magazine in the store, he's a media whore that we adore, mmmm mmmm mmmm

"The Newsweek cover is a shrewd strategic maneuver to demean Palin without having to take responsibility for it. I think it's brilliant. They take an inelegantly, even laughably propped photo where Palin is an obvious participant as opposed to being a manipulated subject, and recontextualize it to show how far out she is willing to travel on the road of self promotion. They beat her at her own game and in the process shield themselves from what would have been the inevitable criticism if they had dolled her up themselves and posed her the same way."

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The Haiku About Government Spending

Now showing in Poetry:

Obama sucks up
Public money as if it
Grows on taxpayers

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Obama's Positions On The Issues

After his meeting with Japan's Emperor I think its pretty clear what his position on American Sovereignity is...but I'm pretty sure we've never had a concise and illustrated appraisal of Obama's positions on the other hot issues of the day...sure we have words...but pictures are worth more than that!

  • On Health Care Reform Town Hall Meetings
  • On Israeli Security
  • On The Economy
  • On National Security

Sure some of this is very...

hyperbolic...

for example, we all know that Obama is not LITERALLY pissing our money way...its just a figure of speech meant to describe the actual vaporization of the dollar (via his hot, steamy pee) his fiscal policies are causing.

And now the president would like to demonstrate the position he would like you all to take regarding his policies psst....mouse....over here!

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I'm Not a Criminologist I Just Try To Play One On TV

It seems that rational Americans are seeing the Fort Hood shooting for the terrorist attack that it is. The rest of us (the royal "us"...I really mean our media and politicians) are suffering from mental constipation when it comes to actually getting a grip on this fact.

One guy, however, is also simultaneously suffering verbal diarrhea.

If you haven't heard the gem Chris Matthews provided on this tragedy give it a listen by clicking on his big dumb mug...if you have heard it give it another go because there's something in it for you too.

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Let me help 'lil Chrissy out with this one....

YES...IT IS!!!

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Faith in Global Warming

**** AUTHORS NOTE: Trying again with the "Easter Eggs"...lot of special coding to make this post happen so if it looks screwy its because your browser doesn't like it...if thats the case let me know so I know in the future there is a limit to my unorthodox blogging ambition :-D Heres a couple of hints if you don't know what to look for......"British Law" and "if genuinely held" So click read more and check out the latest blog post ****

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The EcoPope

Now showing in the art gallery.



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Exclusive: Al Gore's Electric Bill

I'm working on finishing up a blog post on an interesting global warming story out of Great Britain. In the meantime here's a recently uncovered copy of Al Gore's electric bill from his electric company.

It appears the Nashville Electric Service has decided to simplify their summary of Gore's electric usage.



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