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The Obama "Birthers" Movement Needs a Death Certificate

I am fully aware that many, maybe even a majority, of the people who follow my work strenuously disagree with some of the things I'm about to say, but it has to be said.

If the issue of Obama’s birth were actually a baby itself I think I would finally find an acceptable exemption for banning live-birth abortion….The following rant is not a defense of the deity-in-chief, rather, after putting up with loony liberal 9-11 "Truthers" for 8 years this is an attempt to save Conservatives from themselves because frankly I'm tired of having my "conservatives-stand-on-a-higher-moral-plane" bubble busted like it has real estate envy.

It’s been decades since liberals have had such a grip on the country, and this ain’t your grandfather's liberalism. As paradoxical as it may seem, we have leaders who seem to have genuine disdain for the advancement of the country they are leading.

Conservatives are the first, last, and only real line of defense to preserve what brought the USA to greatness in the first place. Uncle Sam is dying (figuratively, but in the literal sense) for us to come up with some 12-step program to get him off the left-wing smack, which includes but isn't limited to: universal health care, c(r)ap and trade, nationalization of industry, assaulting talk radio, running up deficits that make George W. Bush look like Ebenezer Scrooge, saying sorry to the world in 120 different languages, and allowing The View to stay on the air

Is the strategy to averting a left-wing authored armageddon really going to be exposing Obama’s “dubious” record of birth?

There isn’t really any compelling evidence that shows the “birthers” even have a case in the first place. I guess there’s some Kenyan relative that witnessed his birth in.....um......Kenya. I’m sure there was no ulterior motive such as trying to feel like the big man in the village (and sticking it to the big shot with the hut made of mud) for being connected to a man who is now forever world famous. 

Yeah that’s not possible…Hey, remember how Bill Clinton’s daddy spread his seed (or as its known in the Clinton household, “decorated the dress”) around the South in the 60’s and how all his half-brothers and sisters were found out about only after Clinton became president?

Lets assume for a second it’s true, what conservatives are trying to tell the country is that 18 year old baby faces can get alcohol with the right fake ID, illegal immigrants can get any paperwork they need to work here, but the president of the freakin’ country with an allegedly fake birth certificate isn’t going to be able to fool anyone? Really? Because we had an election, and he actually got a lot of people to vote for him….so fooling America is definitely one less item on Obama’s bucket list.

We need to all be honest, no document, however authentic, will ever settle the issue because armies of experts on either side will say yea or nea to its validity. Its a never ending argument, and a losing one at that. Without question his mother is a citizen, and he doesn't have a thick Austrian accent, so in my mind he's a citizen and I'm willing to live in denial if it means moving on to fighting more important battles.

Besides, what if they get their way? What happens if the “birthers” unseat a disqualified Obama? I have an answer, and I'll phrase it in the way the man I’m talking about in my answer would phrase it....

"Two words, Vice President Biden."