April 2011

Oh ho ho boy did Mitt Romney step in it now!

Oh man! Did you get that? He wants to hang Barack Obama....from a tree....while wearing starched bed sheets. Yup, that's what he said!

Orwell.....I mean....Or, well, what I mean is I saw this Huffington Post story, and then I saw these tweets posted at Legal Insurrection, then I put 2 and 2 together and kept coming up with 5....which is how it felt...and 4 out of 5 public school teachers can't be wrong!

I'm not surprised by this at all, he hails from Massachusetts a state that gave us Barney Frank. That guy is so racist that when picking a minority status he decided he'd rather be gay.

So here's my modest proposal, lets just completely destroy the word "hang." By "lets" I mean "me." You don't even have to do anything. I plan on doing it singlehandedly by taking the following:

Ten
Up
Loose
Tight
Right
Left
Er
Ing
Out
In There
Gliding
Don't Leave Me

By my count that is 12 terms or parts of words/terms that use "hang" or "hanging" in it. I'm going to adopt 12 black children from Africa, and each of them are going to be named one of these 12 terms. Then, anytime anyone uses the "harmless" (but WE know better) slang they are associated with I'm going to make them regret they were ever born...because I'm going to tweet about it.

Am I overreacting to this? Um, no! I think Mitt Romney is under-reacting to his racist tendencies. Remember people, denial is the first sign you have a problem, and Mitt has only admitted (clearly) that he is sensitive to how people might perceive his problem.

Oh, by the way, don't worry about me actually getting 12 African kids, I've been searching for a long time for an excuse to wear take this shirt there...

See Mitt? There's a silver lining in every cloud!

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Man, this post would give me Greek philosopher status, if only this were a liberal blog. Alas, I'm not a card carrying member of the Pee Wee Herman "I know you are but what am I" wing of American politics.

:*(

Half black, half white, his heart is in Europe and everything about him stinks.....

If you don't see it click the image for the reveal :-)

**UPDATE**
If for some reason THAT doesn't work (as I've been informed) then click here

So THIS is how he was going to get out of it...

Real estate mogul and reality TV star Donald Trump unleashed an f-bomb-laced attack on President Obama and Washington politics Thursday night during a speech that likely won't help him win the family-values vote should he decide to run for president.

More at Fox News

Remember the fit we had when Biden dropped one? I repeat...ONE f-bomb! And he's just the punch in the face that's supposed to make us forget how crappy Obama is.

This display of asshattery is a clear sign that he is trying to whip people up and suddenly look infinitely (and intentionally) undesirable to even the most glassy eyed Trump stumpers out there.

This is the exit stage left he needs to quell the cynics who always see through the fact that this man never does anything that doesn't promote something that's tattooed Trump. He made waves about Obama to help himself.

Could I be wrong about all of this, you betcha! But do you think McDonald's employees get hired dropping f-bombs in their interviews?

The only mitigating factor in this is that he called our leaders "stupid." Yeah, he might as well have said water is wet. But that does help keep his potential street team tethered to him.

Also, I'm no English major, but if he includes Biden in that statement then I'm pretty sure that's a double negative, and he should be thrown in grammar jail. Maybe even solitary confinement, so he and that hair of his can think about the ridiculousness of what they've done.

And if there's any time left after that he can dwell on the double negative stuff too.

I haven't done any Haikus in a while, so why not pick a topic I couldn't care less about?

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The Royal Wedding
Obama didn't go 'cuz
Tee time, not tea time

FLOTUS couldn't go
She didn't care to because
It wasn't in Spain

Is it just me or
The Queen makes Barney Frank's best
Halloween costume

William has his bride!
Yeah yeah so when does Prince Charles
Get to be the King?

Will and Catherine
The only Royals I care for?
Try Kansas City

This is a real gem of a find....econstories.tv

It's a rappers duel over economic theory...and it's sort of awesome/genius.

.h/t iOwnTheWorld

Now that the birth certificate has been lifted from his shoulders what can the president tackle next?

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10. Even though it has been shown to all, he still needs to read it out loud to the last remaining skeptic, Vice President Biden.

9. Now that he's convinced most people birth certificate is real, and his citizenship is real, he can devote his energy exclusively to faking his patriotism.

8. Establish a Facebook "Can Obama's birth certificate score more points than his jump shot?" page.

7. Work on damage control with despondent liberals who thought birth certificates can't be given to divinity.

6. "Ok , Israel, I showed you mine, now you show me your right to be here, or so help me All......ahhhhhhhhhhahahaha.....ha.......oopsie!"

5. Prove Michelle is qualified to combat childhood obesity by disclosing her artificial butt implants to the right-wing Girther movement.

4. Conduct a scientific study to determine to what degree did birthers cause global warming.

3. It doesn't matter how much Trump asks, the only proof of a college education Obama will be willing to show anyone is his handling of the economy.

2. Send a "thank you" gift basket to Adobe.

1. Direct his staffers to start Photoshopping his budget.

Click the image to see a larger version.

Here's another fantastic video from Oliver Darcy, the man behind the video shared here showing students refusing to allow their higher GPA's to be redistributed to student who need them.

Now he poses the question if GOP spending cuts are out of the question would they be willing to simply pay their share of the national debt and be done with it?

The reactions are typical of liberals, but when he asks them what we should do to bring down the debt the answers are astounding.

"It's not my debt"

Wow. It actually kind of is. Their side created the entitlements that have led us not only to this point, but also to tens of trillions of dollars in unfunded liabilities. It's their side that is doing the same thing at the state level promising the world to public employee unions.

These liberals are voting for the politicians who are making those dominos fall, and its not their f**king debt?!? Public debt belongs to ALL OF US!

I apologize for using profanity this post, I know I've used it a lot in other posts too, yet I rarely seek forgivness for saying "liberal."

I know their response to this...we saw it with that one goony looking kid who said we should "fix" the debt by gutting military spending and then transfer it to "social welfare." How THAT fixes the debt will be something I leave to science fiction, but it belies the point that they think the tens of trillions we owe in social welfare can simply be offset by taxing the rich (whose net worth can't even cover the deficit), and eliminating the military (which doesn't make sense if they just want to put that money in to social programs that will be disbanded with the rest of the nation the second the world figures out we no longer have a way to defend ourselves).

Remember, these people think THEY are the smart ones.

I kind of didn't want to get into the issue because the rest of the world has been going on and on about it, but people really do care about Obama's birth certificate.

It ceased being a fringe issue because even people like Donald Trump were starting to wonder, three years later, why Obama had this keep-away-like-a-school-yard-bully attitude about it. Now everyone wants to know why it took him so long to release it.

Is that really a mystery? The man is a narcissistic a-hole who thought the birthers could be made into kooks who would only get crazier the longer he ignored them.

He finally had to blink because the honeymoon for him was over, and he finally figured it out. Even his own reflection doesn't approve of the job he's doing. Just like in any relationship, familiarity with someone brings a heightened sense of awareness of their flaws. Yet, he wants us to think that he released it because we're being distracted by "sideshows."

Sideshows? SIDESHOWS?!? This man's entire presidency has been a big circus of political freakishness, his birth certificate was just the opening act...

The insistance to add a trillion dollar entitlement to our fiscal house of cards when people wanted a focus on the economy.

The vacations and golfing during times of crisis.

The constant humiliation of Israel, our ONLY real friend in the middle east.

The hypocritical lectures on shared sacrifice while his wife vacations on our dime.

The insistance on a civilian trial of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed in New York City.

His support for a mosque called Cordoba House (until people caught on and they had to change the name to Park 51), a word symbolic of Muslim conquest, blocks away from Ground Zero.

After two years of seeing this guy be aloof to the things Americans actually care about, the royal "we" (conservatives knew all along) have started to wonder whose side this real American idiot is really on.

People see the crap he's done and the idiotic positions that he takes, and they see how nothing in the country has improved. They're not even seeing a hint that it might improve. In fact, they see tangible evidence that the age of America is over, and the doubt planted 3 years ago begins to understandibly take root.

Our narcissist-in-chief lived in a bubble of media love for so long he began to overestimate the patience the American people have for even the leaders they like.

While I sincerely hope this ends the issue for birthers it must be pointed out that it didn't have to come to this. Then again, President Obama's hubris couldn't really allow him to handle this debacle any differently.

Hmmm...what does the "C" stand for?

Unlike other golf leagues, the handicap system in the CGA is really simple:

1. Every point under par get is given to players who go over par.


2. If a player is still under par after all points are redistributed that player is banned from the league until they adjust their level of skill to no longer be so excessive


3. If he so chooses, President Obama is allowed to keep his points under par

Other rules include:

Use of the term "mulligan" is prohibited because President Obama has called dibs on it as his official 2012 campaign slogan

The CPA is a green-friendly league that is constantly making efforts to have as minimal a carbon footprint as possible. As such, all golf carts are fueled by pedal power.

For transportation from hole to hole the president gets to use a special golf cart popularly known as Air Force One

Per the first lady's instructions, all grass captured from the lawnmowers is recycled so it can be served in the nation's school cafeterias

Because "sand trap" may be offensive to middle east Muslims, they will be referred to as an "oasis of jihad"

Membership includes an iPod filled with recordings of pep talks the President has gives to his golf clubs

All I can say is Bill Whittle has outdone himself again. His videos are becoming some of the most important contributions to conservative discourse that can possibly be offered. Can anyone imagine what 2008 would have looked like if we knew even 25% of the information in this video at any point during the campaign? And this is just PART 1!!!

Birthers should take notice that he doesn't even touch the issue of his birth, which (depending on how reasonable you want to be) may have finally been put to bed today since the White House FINALLY releases a copy of the long form birth certificate. He doesn't go there because he doesn't need to, who his parents actually are is WAY worse than where he was born.

This is explosive stuff, liberals have been accusing the right of name calling whenever we say Obama is a socialist...and little did WE know that WE WERE PULLING OUR PUNCHES!

You can bet your ass I'll be posting part 2 when it's available.

After months and months of talk Haley Barbour decided yesterday he wasn't going to aim for the presidency. Leaving the the New York Times to wonder why this could be, and concludes, between the lines, that Obama is somewhat unbeatable (something echoed in the articles comments).

They offer a who's who of people that turned down a shot at challenging Obama...or as I call it, the "GOP Owl Call"

John Thune (who?)
Mike Pence (who?)
Bob Corker (WHO?!?)

I do actually know who those three are, but most people don't.

They round off the list with Chris Christie, who isn't even halfway done with his first term as New Jersey's governor, and Jeb Bush who for everyone would end up being a big "Who? Oh HELL NO!"

I know Jeb has his fans, but it's just impossible to sell YET ANOTHER Bush to the country. Sorry. Nobody will care if Jeb is like a shiny state-of-the-art Blu-ray disc, everyone is still pissed that his brother turned out to be a useless LaserDisc throwback.

Truth be told there will be Republican's who want to challenge Obama, and there's A LOT to challenge. His signature initiatives have been disaterous failures for the country, and the Democratic party especially.

It seems to me that the trick is not just to have the right message, but to have a message period. President DingleBarry won in 2008 for being nothing more than a media tingle-fairy. His numbers suck because people are figuring that out. So I think even having a modicum of substance and a base willing to shout it from the rooftops to the voters residing in the middle could overcome Obama's expected billion-dollar war chest.

There is no doubt the media is in overdrive trying to rehabilitate Obama's public perception...they should work on their subtlety a little more...

It's a dark day for the country one special guy.

A man by the name of Hubert "Hub" Schafly, passed away, and he is a man who made at least one president...

He can be considered a sputnik moment decades in the making when he invented the teleprompter way back in the 40's.

I've heard that Obama was in a meeting when he found out, so there were no camera's present. However, a sketch artist with help from an anonymous witness was able to capture the president's reaction...

The recent effort by Evo Morales's ridiculous movement to grant Mother Earth civil rights really highlights how people who believe him, and organizations like PETA, are particularly idiotic sectors of the "progressive" universe. While other desitinations of progressive Nirvana, like communism, arguably still live in theory (ha ha ha), the goals of these people is so fantasitically self-contradicting that the only debate to be had is how tight the straight jacket should be for them.

If nothing else tells you these people are complete whack jobs then let PETA's president speak for them...

Instead of seeing all the other species on Earth as ours to convert into hamburgers, handbags, living burglar alarms, amusements, test tubes with whiskers, and so on, we need to respect them as fellow beings, as other individuals and families and tribes who have the same basic interests in experiencing joy and love and living without needless pain and harassment as we do.

More here

Wow....that's beautiful...they could really drive this point home by having members who have had abortions sign this statement like it was the Constitution.

Now does this iron clad way of viewing animals apply to the ones that are natural carnivores? Or are they allowed by PETA to "convert" animals into hamburgers?

I know the P in PETA stands for pointless ppreposterous peabrains poopyhead "people," so obviously membership doesn't include lions, and tigers, and bears. Presumably only humans are expected to treat other animals as "fellow beings," because we are the only "animals" on the planet that who are sentient enough to that we think, therefore we are.

If that's the case we're not exactly "fellow beings," are we? We're actually something different...something better.

That's what makes their cause so bloomin' idiotic. People shouldn't harm animals because they're equal to us, but animals can harm other animals because we can't fight against their nature....but we are exempt from this because we are capable of being exempt....because we are better than other animals....

Hamburger meat has more cerebral activity than the average member of PETA. Who would've thought the idea of vegan zombies WASN'T science fiction?

Fine PETA, go ahead and join your "fellow beings"...

By the way, that sign is real, I didn't photoshop it into existence....see? <---

Oh wait no...he didn't.

For Easter 2010, President Obama issued a proclamation that invited members of all other faiths, including atheists, to the resurrection party. Throughout the year he fawned on Muslim holidays, which he apparently let them keep to themselves.

This year for Easter President Obama gave Jesus a big thumbs up and told him to sit on it.

That's right, our "obviously Christian" president didn't find the time to hat tip our savior to the nation on His (and everyone else's) most important day of the year.

Ok, he did have lunch with some pastors, and he also went to church, which is a clear indicator of his sincere faith...right....

Wright?

Far be it from me to judge another's faith, especially when I don't know Obama as well as Friar Suck up there does, but when do "obviously Christian" people find the time to praise every faith but their own?

Conservatives aren't casting his faith in doubt, his actions are.

Why no Easter proclamation? Did his printer run out of ink? Did his copy of Word crash when he tried writing it in Arabic font (because NASA's outreach efforts just aren't good enough).

Liberals get in such a tizzy when polls show people think he's Muslim. The man has been quackin' like a Muslim, and this is a shock to them?!?

There's a reason we have labels, and nobody appreciates or exploits that better than liberals. In fact, their labels are their identity. Obama has always been liberalism's man of mystery, and they don't want the seduction to lose its magic...which may be why they are so allergic to the truth that he's not "obviously Christian."

Lets put it this way, when Barney Frank is in a room full of coeds does anyone doubt which kind of cleavage he's checking out?

Then Obama needs to stop giving the elevator eyes to Mohammed, because I'm not a big believer in coincidence, and the American voter isn't the only one taking notice...

That was from Easter Sunday night! No joke, you can see a couple more pictures of this "random" event here.

Click the image to see a larger version.

So....after spending time creating this piece I did a Google search for candy ads to see if there was anything else I could do for this, and I came across this...

So much for my original idea...thanks for beating me to it iOwnTheWorld. On the plus side, if my brain goes where they go on ideas I must not be doing that badly with them.

Happy Easter! Let's not let some dumb chocolate bunnies...↑...get in the way of celebrating the rising of the real messiah.

:-)

I didn't say it, Bob did...

Get more rants like this one at Drinking With Bob

Liberals sure do get uppity when you want to suggest their hero might not actually be a born American. In deference to them, being American is a state of mind more than a birthright. We know this because there isn't anything American about the soapbox lefties choose to stand on.

They like to call their "progressive" positions American, but last time I checked a social justice cocktail wasn't the drink of choice for the Founding Fathers, and they cared more about spreading butter than wealth.

They can cry foul all they want when Donald Trump "feeds the animals," but which side likes a little kool-aide with their fringe?

There aren't a lot of great public numbers on the partisan breakdown of adherents to that conspiracy theory, but the University of Ohio yesterday shared with us the crosstabs of a 2006 poll they did with Scripps Howard that's useful in that regard.

"How likely is it that people in the federal government either assisted in the 9/11 attacks or took no action to stop the attacks because they wanted the United States to go to war in the Middle East?" the poll asked.

A full 22.6% of Democrats said it was "very likely." Another 28.2% called it "somewhat likely."

More at Politico....

Some numbers I've seen on the Obama/birther side are slightly lower than this. I don't know, partisans are partisans, so it's hard to look at something like this and not equivocate. We should probably check in with people who don't subscribe to either theory....like me!

I'm the perfect guy to weigh in on this, because I'm not so married to my ideology that I can't be impartial when really I want to be. For example, I'd totally concede that CNN is a middle of the road news network at gunpoint.

So if I had to accessorize my politics with a little fringe what would look better on me? Hmm...

Should I go with the idea that a sitting president risked his legacy going down in historic flames (to which he largely succeeded in the short term) because the rush of being an accomplice to the murder of thousands of innocent people gave him leg tingles AND he wanted to play GI Joe in the desert?

OR

We elected a guy whose past we knew nothing about. Nobody in the field of journalism had much of any curiosity to rectify the problem. What little we know raises red flags that make China's look pink in comparison. People wonder where he was born, and that's when the man decides to play the quiet game, which effectively puts gas on the fire.

Truthers and Birthers both have issues in their own right, but George W. Bush never egged the Truthers on. Their type of crazy has it's own locomotion that even debunking articles from Popular Science, or the cognitive dissonance of the so-called "dumbest" president ever masterminding the most diabolical conspiracy ever, can't slow down. It operates on a faith normally reserved for the likes of God and MSNBC stockholders. If we could bottle that energy of theirs we would solve the energy crisis tomorrow.

Meanwhile, all the Birthers want, if liberals really want them to shut up, is to see a lousy piece of paper.

If I had to pick a group that I would rather have a beer with it would definitely be the Birthers, because Truthers can't mix alcohol with their medication.