IRAN CONFESSES PURSUIT OF NUKES IS REALLY JUST AN EFFORT TO BEAT OUT SARAH PALIN FOR MEDIA ATTENTION" - February 10

NEW POLL FINDS DEMS IS EXPECTED TO PARTICIPATE IN WAR ON CHILDHOOD OBESITY FOR "OBVIOUS REASONS" - February 10

OBAMA SAYS HE WASN'T AWARE OF PALIN USING NOTES ON HAND UNTIL BEING FULLY BRIEFED BY HIS TELEPROMPTER - February 9

MSNBC TELEPROMPTERS BREAK DOWN, CUE CARD BOY OUT SICK, OLBERMAN FORGETS TO BLAST PALIN FOR HAND NOTES - February 9

DEMS REMAIN CRYPTIC ON REASON FEDERAL DEBT LIMIT NEEDS TO BE DOUBLED THE DAY AFTER SUPER BOWL - February 8

CANADA THANKS COLTS AS WAGER WITH OBAMA OVER SUPER BOWL WILL BRING HEALTH CARE SYSTEMS TRADE WITH U.S. - February 8

AFTER PICK OF COLTS TO WIN SUPER BOWL, OBAMA LAMENTS THAT IF FECES WERE LIKE GOLD HE'D BE KING MIDAS - February 8

OBAMA NOT ABLE TO FINISH STATEMENT WISHING HE COULD "HAND JOBS OUT" WHEN BARNEY FRANK SHOUTS "ME FIRST!" - February 5

NEW POLL SHOWS HALF OF THOSE WHO DISAPPROVE OF TEA PARTIES ARE DEMOCRATS, THE OTHER HALF IS OBAMA'S EGO - February 5

LAS VEGAS UNVEILS NEW SLOGAN: WHAT HAPPENS HERE CREATES LESS DEBT THAN OBAMA'S BUDGET

OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO GO AFTER TOYOTA FOR BAD CARS BECAUSE ONLY VOTERS ARE ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES - February 4

LAS VEGAS UNVEILS NEW SLOGAN: WHAT HAPPENS HERE IS MONEY WELL SPENT COMPARED TO OBAMA'S BUDGET - February 3

LAS VEGAS UNVEILS NEW SLOGAN: WHAT HAPPENS HERE IS MONEY WELL SPENT COMPARED TO OBAMA'S BUDGET - February 3

AFTER "NO SPENDING IN VEGAS" COMMENT, OBAMA PLEDGES NOT TO "BLOW MONEY ON BONUS PAY FOR TELEPROMPTERS" - February 3

CLIMATEGATE SCIENTISTS ADMIT SKEWED WARMING DATA MAY BE DUE TO MELTING ICE MAKING THEM SEXUALLY AROUSED - February 3

RAHM EMANUEL EXPLAINS SAYING "RETARDED" NOT MEANT TO DEGRADE, HE IS ACTUALLY STATING WHAT HE ASPIRES TO BE - February 1

DNC CONSIDERS HOLDING 2012 CONVENTION IN FOREIGN NATION, AWAITS PERMISSION FROM CITY OF SAN FRANCISCO - February 1

$3.8 TRILLION DEFICIT HIKING BUDGET HAS GOP CONCERNED OBAMA HAS ONE OF TOYOTA'S STICKY GAS PEDALS - February 1

AS HUGO CHAVEZ APPLAUDS OBAMA PROPOSAL TO END PARTISAN RANCOR IN DC GOP REFUSES VOTE TO DISBAND ITSELF - January 29

HAZMAT TEAM CLEARS BOTOX SPILL FROM ACCUPUNTURE FACILITY AFTER PROCEDURE IS APPLIED TO PELOSI'S FACE - January 29

OBAMA EXPERIENCES SEVERE NECK PAIN AFTER REBUKE OF SUPREME COURT, CAN NO LONGER SUPPORT WEIGHT OF HEAD - January 28

CRITICS HAIL OBAMA'S FIRST STATE OF THE UNION AS THE FEEL GOOD COMEDY EVENT OF THE 2010 CAMPAIGN SEASON - January 28

OBAMA'S TELEPROMPTER BREAKS DOWN AT STATE OF THE UNION PREP, KEEPS FLASHING "I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE" - January 27

WANTING A STATE OF THE UNION ABOUT BETTER TIMES OBAMA WARNS SPEECHWRITERS TO NOT PLAGIARIZE GEORGE W BUSH - January 27

BARNEY FRANK INFORMS BIDEN THE MASSACHUSETTS MANDATE WITH SCOTT BROWN WAS ABOUT VOTING, NOT ROMANCE - January 26

OBAMA SIGNS EXECUTIVE ORDER MAKING APPROVAL RATINGS WORK LIKE GOLF SCORES, TOUTS RISING POPULARITY - January 26