POLL FINDS DEMS PLACE LAST IN THREE WAY RACE FOR CONGRESS WITH GOP AND THE OIL SPILL - June 17

BIDEN DEFENDS BP CHAIRMAN CALLING GULF RESIDENTS "LITTLE PEOPLE," POINTS OUT HE REALLY MEANT "WEE THE PEOPLE" - June 17

AIDE LEAKS EXPLANATION THAT OBAMA CONSIDERS FREQUENT GOLF GAMES TO BE LIKE EXTENDED CIGARETTE BREAKS - June 16

OBAMA HAILS BIDEN AS A GENIUS FOR SUGGESTING THAT THE DEFICIT COULD BE CLOSED BY TAXING TAXES - June 16

OBAMA SPEECH TO FOCUS ON ASKING AMERICA WHAT HE SHOULD DO WITH "A FRIEND" WHO HAS SCREWED UP BEING PRESIDENT - June 15

BIDEN RUSHED TO HOSPITAL TO GET STOMACH PUMPED AFTER MISTAKING TAR BALLS FOR BLACK LICORICE FLAVORED PASTE - June 15

OBAMA PLACES OIL SPILL DISASTER SOMEWHERE BETWEEN 9-11 AND VOTERS WAKING UP TO HIM - June 14

1-1 TIE IN WORLD CUP BETWEEN USA AND ENGLAND DEEMED A WATERSHED VICTORY FOR SPORTS BY LEADING SOCIALISTS - June 14

DURING VISIT TO GULF OBAMA CALLS DIBS ON TARBALLS SO HE CAN SAVE MONEY AT HIS DRIVING RANGE - June 11

HELEN THOMAS CONFESSES RESENTMENT OF JEWS BEGAN AS A LITTLE GIRL GETTING "JERKED AROUND BY THIS MOSES GUY" - June 11

HARRY REID POINTS OUT SAME RASMUSSEN POLL SHOWS HIM BEATING SHARON ANGLE IF THE DECIDING FACTOR WAS FEMININITY - June 10

PETA FILES CLASS ACTION SUIT CHARGING IRAN WITH SLANDER AFTER CALLING UN SANCTIONS "ANNOYING FLIES" - June 10

CAUGHT IN ANOTHER CASE OF SELECTIVE HEARING BARNEY FRANK APOLOGIZES TO OBAMA FOR OFFERING UP HIS "ASS TO SLICK" - June 9

BIDEN'S IDEA TO CLEAN OIL SPILL BY DUMPING "GAS GUZZLING" SUV'S IN OCEAN REJECTED AFTER CAREFUL CONSIDERATION - June 9

FLORIDA OIL CLEAN UP CONTINUES AFTER MAGIC GENIE GRANTS A CHOICE BETWEEN THE SLICK OR A RETIRED HELEN THOMAS - June 8

MINUTES AFTER ANNOUNCING RETIREMENT HELEN THOMAS IS OFFERED JOB AT DISNEYLAND  AS THE WITCH FROM SNOW WHITE - June 7

OBAMA SAYS DEALING WITH OIL SPILL RATES SOMEWHERE ON HIS "BUMMER SCALE" BETWEEN RIM SHOTS AND DOUBLE BOGEYS - June 7

OBAMA ANNOUNCES NEW JOBS STIMULUS PLAN TO HIRE MORE CENSUS WORKERS, DEMAND RECOUNTS UNTIL 2012 - June 4

AFTER REVIEW OF LAST RESORT OPTIONS TO DEAL WITH OIL SPILL OBAMA IS ADVISED TO REMOVE FROM LIST "GIVE SPEECH FROM '08 ELECTION" - June 4

AFTER MEETING WITH ARIZONA GOVERNOR OBAMA PROMISES HER JOB OFFER IF SHE DOESN'T ASK FOR HIS PAPERS, AGAIN - June 3

OBAMA FEARS CREDIBILITY IS SLIPPING WHEN LAUGHTER ERUPTS AFTER SAYING HE IS GOOD AT PLAYING "CLUE" - June 3

JAMES CARVILLE DECLINES CHANCE TO CAMPAIGN FOR DEMS WITH OBAMA, SAYS HE’LL BE TOO BUSY WASHING HIS HAIR - June 2

GORES END 40 YEAR MARRIAGE WHEN TIPPER FINDS OUT "EL NINO" IS AL'S LOVE CHILD WITH MOTHER NATURE - June 1

"MISS ME YET" MOVEMENT GETS MAJOR BOOST AFTER GEORGE W. BUSH ANNOUNCED HE OFFICIALLY MISSES HIMSELF  - June 1