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Satire Headlines Archive Update December 22-31

The following are now posted in the Satire Headlines Archive for 2009

ATTORNEY FOR UNDERWEAR BOMBER'S ADVISES AGAINST "NOT BOMB JUST HAPPY TO SEE ALLAH'S VIRGINS" DEFENSE - December 31

NEW POLL FINDS OBAMA LESS POPULAR THAN MICHELLE, HILLARY, WATERBOARDING, HELL - December 30

OBAMA DEFLECTS QUESTION ABOUT CALLING MUSLIM TERRORISTS "VIOLENT EXTREMISTS" BY WISHING AMERICA A NEW YEAR - December 30

ECONOMISTS TELL BIDEN URANIUM THAT IS "ENRICHED" DOESN'T MEAN IT HAS LOTS OF MONEY THAT CAN BE TAXED - December 29

OBAMA PROPOSES TESTICLE KICKING CONTEST TO SETTLE WAR ON TERROR, OFFERS TO LET AL QAEDA GO FIRST - December 28

IRAN TELLS OBAMA HIS SPEECHES INSPIRE THEM TO STOP VIOLENCE, NUKES, AND "HAHA JUST KIDDING YOU'RE WEAK" - December 28

OBAMA ORDERS REVIEW OF FLIGHT SCREENING PROCEDURES TO SEE HOW THEY CAN IMPROVE HIS CZAR VETTING PROCESS - December 28

OBAMA LAUNCHES CHRISTMAS INVESTIGATION WHEN GIFT FROM SECRET SANTA IS WRAPPED WITH US BIRTH CERTIFICATES - December 23

DEMS OFFER TO KILL HEALTH BILL REJECTED BY GOP, COULD FIND NO TAKERS TO JUDGE PELOSI-REID BIKINI CONTEST - December 23

IN PREPARATION OF HEALTH CARE VOTE COSTUME COMPANY AFFIRMS NO "MIX UP" IN SENDING SEN. REID MRS. CLAUSE SUIT - December 22