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Palin's Palm Pilot Can Beat Up Your Liberal's Teleprompter

Hey! Did you know that Iran gave the world a nuclear middle finger yesterday!!! Now that we got that meaningless crap out of the way....lets talk about a more serious mainstream media headline...

Now that liberals are in full control of the country it appears that we now live in a world where a 40 minute speech guided by this

   

Is the EXACT SAME THING as this

and this

and this

Wait...did Sarah's podium say Gaylord?

and this

Somehow, in some bizarro world where Rosie O'donnell is a difficult dodgeball target and Rachel Maddow has a sex change operation so his name actually makes sense....Sarah Palin's 5 words written on her hand in ink to outline a 40 minute speech is tantamount to hypocrisy when criticizing Obama for using a machine that spoon feeds him like the political baby he is 100% of the words in his speeches.

Liberals, I forget, how dumb is Sarah Palin again?

Got Climategate?

The way the media has been treating this you would think they found some sort of smoking gun, which proves they wouldn't know a smoking gun if it shot them in the ass.

I know, I know....ALL politicians use teleprompters. This is true, but do they all RELY on them as heavily as Obama does?

Probably not....right?

Right?.................................................................guys?

Looks like someone forgot to flip on the prompters phonics switch

I'm glad Obama likes to honor the Marine Corpse, the corpse does do fine work.

I'm sorry, did we have to hear for ONLY 8 years about how that little Hitler wearing a George W. Bush mask that came before Obama couldn't say "nuclear" correctly?

I know liberals have wet dreams about how the military is populated with a bunch of dumb uneducated rednecks who couldn't spell "gun" better than they can shoot one, but they know how to properly say they belong to the marine corps (which is to be read as "CORE" for the liberal readers and certain pinko presidents).

Maybe its just me, but I think they probably deserve a commander-in-chief that can do the same, because "what would Biden do" is not a good game to play when you're stuck on a word in which you should've been given a heads up.

May I suggest writing a reminder on your hand, Mr. President?

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New Poem: God Is Not Republican

Here is the latest addition to the Poetry section. Starting here I'm going to try something new where I'm going to try to design the poem more....I kind of did it once before, here is an example, and I kind of already do it with the way I structure my stanzas(if you can call them that, hehe), font sizes, and colors, etc...

I don't know...we'll see....



All of us who were engaged in the struggle must have observed frequent instances of superintending providence in our favor. To that kind providence we owe this happy opportunity of consulting in peace on the means of establishing our future national felicity. And have we now forgotten that powerful friend? Or do we imagine that we no longer need his assistance? I have lived, Sir, a long time, and the longer I live, the more convincing proofs I see of this truth-that God governs in the affairs of men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the Ground without his Notice, is it probable that an Empire can rise without his Aid?"

-Benjamin Franklin at the Constitutional Convention

GOD IS NOT A REPUBLICAN

Oh of course not!

He favors equally
The philosophy
Of the political party
That "progressive"ly moves
Away from His light
And derides His way
As "not necessarily" right

So how dare the
Right write
The story that
God only blesses those
Who bother to give Him glory?

What a cynic I am!

God doesn't care
If taxpayer fare
Goes to Tom Dick and Harry
Who CHOOSE to gay marry
At some abortion clinic?

If only we teach these values
to our kids

I'm the Democratic Party
and I approve this message

America's problems aren't political

Actually

It is literally
Biblically becoming
Deaf
Blind
Dumb

To Morality

It's time for believers
To take the Stand
And not be afraid
To bring up the One who made
us, and

U.S.A

God provides a footstool
To give us that lift
As we pull
Up and out
Of the darkness mess
brought on by those who
shut off The Light
and then crown themselves

Enlightened

But beware of asserting
A certain
moral authoriity that
will use Him
As a marketing tool

Fools

nobody

Least of all Him
who can tell the difference

Yes He can

My friends

In the end
God may indeed
not be Republican
But it is a fact
He's definitely no Democrat

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New Poem: The Haiku About Obama's Fiscal Policy

As always this can be found in the Poetry Section. This was inspired by the Toyota recalls.

Our president has
Problems with his fiscal brakes
Recall Obama

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Its My Arrogance in Chief Obama Rant

I know its a week late, but I'm going to rant about the state of the union....its not like I'm commenting on the war in Afghanistan, in which case this post would've been made 2 months and 3 weeks from now.

Anyway, last week amateur hour went prime time as what passes for a president these days gave his first State of the Union address. I'm guessing the starting line-up teleprompters Obama took to the elementary school must've been given a much deserved day off because those B-listers doubling as vanity mirrors for Biden and Pelosi seemed to be reversing what were supposed to be applause and laugh lines the entire night. At least as far as the Democrats were concerned.

I swear during the Dems standing ovations if Chuck Schumer acted like any more of a smug arrogant schmuck pants he'd be exactly like....Chuck Schumer

Now that we've all had our first go of it I vote that we take away the teleprompters-in-chief and offically draft an amendment to the constitution that prevents him or any president from using the State of the Union as an opportunity to publicly berate the Supreme Court of the United States.

I know the constitution isn't something the other two branches are terribly fond of but the judicial branch is still SEPARATE AND EQUAL to them. If they don't want a justice like Sam Alito wants to have the temerity to show displeasure in being attacked then Obama shouldn't be doing the attacking in the first place.

If we wanted that we'd just vote for Simon Cowell....which works well because he's not a citizen either

How condescending! How arrogant! How can the Supreme Court not defend itself when the President tries to assert superiority over it with a verbal horsewhipping on national television.

If Obama's act goes any more amateurish he'll have to start broadcasting his addresses from the Apollo....

Oh man I can hear the cries of racism now...telling the president to go to the Apollo Theater of all places...fine, any open mic night at a local DC chuckle hut where he'll draw more tears than laughter works just as well....I don't care at this point....

At least I'm not the idiot implying that black equals some kind of inferior. I swear, talk radio is the biggest ratings blessing for Chris Matthews, if it weren't for them nobody would even know that after the State of the Union last week Chris Matthews "forgot" Obama was black.

Too bad Obama can't make the country forget his administration is on crack.

Oh man, I forget, is he that black guy? If only he used a negro dialect...

Told you this was going to be a rant...because I when I say I'm going to do something, I don't get everyone to sign on to it and then do the exact opposite....unlike certain sitting presidents who were the subject of this blog and after....Obama....now.... shall remain nameless.

I'm telling you people......me for president. I've already got my campaign button ready to go!

Aww @$%&$....my first scandal....


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3 Words Liberals Hate, Part 5 of 5

The series on Three Words Liberals hate continues, for a full explanation of it check out part one.

Please feel free to comment below with some 3 word jabs of your own. They don't have to follow the theme of the day either. In anycase I'll start:

No business bailouts

Universal health sucks

Stimulus is wasteful

Socialism is bad

Socialism isn’t hope

Nope to “hope”

Nope springs eternal

NOpe NOcialism NObama

President Sarah Palin

Hope you enjoyed this, maybe I'll do it again, or think of other things like this that can be fun for all....(by the way...this is not to be construed as an endorsement of Sarah Palin for president at any point in the future...its too soon people)

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Satire Headlines Archive Update January 14-25

Here are the latest additions to the Satire Headlines archive

UPON SAYING HE WOULD RATHER BE REALLY GOOD ONE-TERM PRESIDENT OBAMA IS ASKED TO DEFINE "REELECTION" - January 25

TRANSCRIPTS OF OBAMA'S ELEMENTARY SCHOOL SPEECH USING TELEPROMPTERS ARE LEAKED, "A-B-C-D-E-F-G...." - January 25

BIDEN INFORMED THAT ROE VS. WADE ANNIVERSARY IS NOT ABOUT THE CHOICE OF USING BOATS INSTEAD OF SWIMMING - January 22

FACING PUBLIC OPPOSITION OBAMA REFUSES TO "WALK AWAY" FROM HEALTH CARE, “IT WOULDN'T BE FAST ENOUGH” - January 22

ARLEN SPECTER TELLS MICHELLE BACHMAN TO ACT LIKE A "LADY," GIVES HER DEMONSTRATION - January 21

ELIZABETH EDWARDS SUCCESSFULLY REMOVES TUMOR WITHOUT SURGERY ACCORDING TO HER DIVORCE LAWYER - January 21

JOHN EDWARDS ADMITS PATERNITY OF LOVE CHILD AS PEOPLE BEGIN TO SEE HOW SHE HAS HIS GIRLISH GOOD LOOKS - January 21

NICOTINE ADDLED OBAMA HOLDS POST ELECTION MEETING IN WHITE HOUSE BATHROOM, SAYS THE TOILET “GETS HIM”- January 20

SENATE PASSES RESOLUTION CALLING FOR TED KENNEDY'S GRAVE TO BE EXHUMED SO SCOTT BROWN CAN TURN IT OVER - January 20

MAN TURNED AWAY FROM MASSACHUSETTS POLL AFTER FAILING TO SHOW ID FOR REGISTERED NAME, B.O. TELEPROMPTER - January 19

OBAMA PRAISES ACORN'S GRASSROOTS EFFORT TO TRANSPORT VOTERS FROM ALL STATES TO THE POLLS FOR COAKLEY - January 19

ED SCHULTZ CLARIFIES VOTERS SHOULDN'T CHEAT IN MASSACHUSETTS SENATE RACE, ONLY ACORN, FRANKEN'S LAWYERS - January 18

PATRICK KENNEDY SAYS "MARCIA" WAS SLIP OF THE TONGUE AND "OF COURSE" HE KNOWS MARTHA CHOAKLEY'S NAME - January 18

or...PATRICK KENNEDY SAYS "MARCIA" WAS SLIP OF THE TONGUE AND "OF COURSE" HE KNOWS MARTHA CROAKLEY'S NAME - January 18

DEMS WORRIED GOP'S SCOTT BROWN REPLACING TED KENNEDY IN SENATE WILL TARNISH THE FAMILY'S GOOD NAME - January 16

SCHUMER EMAIL CALLING SCOTT BROWN A TEABAGGER IS MIX UP WITH EMAIL WARNING MEN-DON'T DATE BARNEY FRANK - January 14

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3 Words Liberals Hate, Part 4 of 5

The series on Three Words Liberals hate continues, for a full explanation of it check out part one.

Please feel free to comment below with some 3 word jabs of your own. They don't have to follow the theme of the day either. In anycase I'll start:

Phony class warfare

Race baiting intolerance

Advocating fake convictions

Dishonest with identity

Pelosi bleeds botox

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3 Words Liberals Hate, Part 3 of 5

The series on Three Words Liberals hate continues, for a full explanation of it check out part one.

Please feel free to comment below with some 3 word jabs of your own. They don't have to follow the theme of the day either. In anycase I'll start:

Kennedy dynasty ends

Republicans want Massachusetts

Scott Brown wins

Republicans got Massachusetts

Coakley got teabagged

Roman Polanski’s next

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Lets Play What Does Obama's Teleprompter Say?

There has been a lot of buzz about how Obama took teleprompters to an elementary school. The assumption being that he gave a speech to school kids using them.

Some are trying to call it a hoax because he only used it to give a speech about his proposed Race to the Top program for education.

Education? Its not his official policy on America's decline for the sake of the world?

But the fact remains that the president took what is starting to look like his extended family on this little field trip.

Um, he can start by letting them have their classroom back...

To me this begs the question of at what point will he start to feel pangs of shame. Does the speech really have to be made inside a classroom. Will this BS program be less successful if Obama and his people can't takeover an elementary school and disrupt classes for an entire day so he can lecture America on how students need to perform better in school.

Well, you don't get photo ops like this every day...so lets have fun with it!

Comment below with a caption of what you think the teleprompters are telling the man who bows to emperors with less power than monopoly money to say in a classroom full of children....news reporters.....children.

Rollover the image to see my two cents in this little game, and then have at it!

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3 Words Liberals Hate, Part 2 of 5

The series on Three Words Liberals hate continues, for a full explanation of it check out part one.

Please feel free to comment below with some 3 word jabs of your own. They don't have to follow the theme of the day either. In anycase I'll start:

Phony class warfare

Race baiting intolerance

Advocating fake convictions

Dishonest with identity

Pelosi bleeds botox

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