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The Haiku About Harry Reid's Son

While there's no animosity between Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and his son, the younger Reid's use of his first name on his campaign's website and television ads is telling, a veteran political observer in Nevada said.

Obviously he's trying to downplay his last name," said Jon Ralston, a columnist for the Las Vegas Sun and publisher of the Ralston Report. "In so obviously downplaying it, he's called even more attention to it."

-from this story on CNN

What is in a name?
Rory! Rory! Rory....Reid?
Go with Mud instead

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Scholars Should Rank The Presidents With A Roulette Wheel

I don't do mad very often, because I save it up for posts like this.

With internet porn and sex being flashed in front of our faces constantly I'm sure its getting tougher for nerds, who have to work harder than ever, to find activities that allow them to avoid wanting to lose their virginity...but...It looks like the nations elite squad of presidential scholars have found a way to remain preoccupied...

According to Politico a new poll of presidential rankings has found President Obama to be in a stratospheric 15th place (no I didn't view that number through a mirror...I wish) compared to all of his predecessors.

The Siena College poll, which surveyed 238 presidential scholars at U.S. colleges and universities, asked scholars to rate the nation’s 43 chief executives on 20 attributes ranging from legislative accomplishments to integrity and imagination.

Imagination? The way Jimmy Carter judges George W. Bush as his inferior he must've scored first place on that account. (Well...actually he ranked 21, Teddy Roosevelt was first)

Now, I know exactly what you're thinking.....How did William Henry Harrison rank?

Well he was 30th in party leadership, 27th in handing the economy, and 24th in executive appointments, and then he was IS THIS LIST !$^$&#*# FOR REAL!?!

Why why why WHY WHY WHY is William Henry Harrison even allowed to be on the list? The man was president for ONE MONTH. The nations so-called leading "scholars" placed this guy 35th overall. The guy who presided for a month, got really sick and then DIED beat out 8 other guys!

In the category of "luck" this one-month pony got 42nd out of 43.....what happened to 43rd place? Did that guy get caught eating manure or something?

A more accurate list could've been put together using only a roulette wheel.

As an astronaut, look out for MY rankings on the best galaxies to visit

Do we really have to call these lefty morons who judge our presidents "scholars?" If so then words clearly don't have meaning anymore. I'm no expert on presidents so it's obviously I need to get a phD (get, not earn, I'm convinced the schools these idiots went to were just giving them away) to understand how feeble minded I am right now to think that men who never actually had time to be president SHOULDN'T BE ON THE DAMN LIST!

Conservatives will have their hearts warmed to know that George W. Bush, the man who navigated, with moderate success, one of the biggest geo-political toilet plunges in history, ranked 39th...four places below the guy whose only accomplishment, literally, was being inaugurated.

Meanwhile, President Teleprompter's highest ranking was 6th ....for imagination...a hah...a hah hah hah....and at 15th he beats Ronald Reagan's 18th place.

I could keep going, but I think the point has been made that the worlds best comedians couldn't write jokes that could even begin to overtake the comedy that is this list.

If you're REALLY bored, or in a very good mood and you want to put an end to either of these things, or if you've ever wondered what bad mental masturbation looks like, then go ahead and check out all of the actual rankings here.

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Top 10 reasons Al and Tipper Gore Split Up

I've seen a few of these already that I thought were ok...hopefully this one is better than the rest!

10. She realized his "I love you's" were only sincere when she was standing in front of a mirror

9. Tipper was tired of hearing him recall old Vietnam stories written by his speech writers

8. Al was way too obsessed with BUSH that's not Tipper's

7. They hadn’t had sex in so long Al started calling her “The Lock Box”

6. Tipper disagreed that spicing up the bedroom with role-playing fantasies should include "winning Florida"

5. They started to doubt their compatibility after their very first kiss at the 2000 DNC

4. Tipper was forced to sleep on the couch to make room on the bed for Al's Oscar, and the Academy Award he won for An Inconvenient Truth

3. "First one to divorce his wife is a rotten egg!" said Bill Clinton

2. She realized El Niño is Al's love child with Mother Nature

1. Divorce was payment for her silence on the global warming fraud

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Levi Johnston is the Usefullest Idiot of Them All

Levi Johnston is apologizing to the Palins, and admits he flat out lied about the things he said about them.

In other breaking news, the sun is hot, water is wet, and Senator Lindsey Graham is such a wiener that he's is the only Republican endorsed by Barney Frank.

This is just another example of Hollywood taking a useful idiot it was wielding against an effective conservative, recognizing its expired usefulness, and exercising its gag reflex.

Godspeed little man.

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Obama vs Arizona Is Just The Intermission

Ok, so Arizona is going to have a fight about over illegal immigration with Obama....I say lets do this! Justice Kennedy just announced he's not leaving until Obama does, so lets take this bad boy to the SCOTUS.

I have a clever t-shirt idea, but "dumb ass" doesn't rhyme with "hope"

In spite of their best efforts to paint those of us who favor SB1070 as racist, an overwhelming majority of the country is with Arizona on this and Obama knows it. So why does he insist on being on the losing end of this issue?

He's trying to distract the country from the fact that 48% of us are ready to throw an "I told you so" parade for the rest of it, whose reasons for voting for this president can't extend beyond monosyllabic bumper stickers.

Political parties always sink or swim on the health of the economy and Barry wants you to forget that, so he's picking on a state where 98% of the country doesn't live, and would never vote for him in 2012 anyway.

Barney Frank gets the "winner"

Its an easy target....that's all his fragile teleprompter psyche can handle. Obama can't handle the hard stuff, even when the winning choice is clearer than an arm wrestling match between Melissa Etheridge and Harry Reid.

Iran want's nukes, pelicans want clean water, Napolitano and Kagan want to be seen together in public and Arizona just wants to freakin' protect its people. Yet, somehow, he thinks staring down Jan Brewer is going to help him.

He expects us to fall for this distraction trap. It's so like a liberal to believe everyone else thinks like them...

I know one of the perks for Pelosi being speaker is the close calls Biden and this president apparently have...but we voters can walk and chew gum at the same time without almost killing ourselves. So unless Obama is planning a 4 month long tap dance routine on Iran's nukes, this cute little attempt at changing the subject isn't going to make the country forget about the fact that his administration is one big word-that-Biden-says-in-front-of-a-hot-mic-on-national-television up.

I've heard a lot of conservative commentators complain that we shouldn't let this lawsuit distract us from the real issues that highlight the country's Biggest LOSER's achievements. If the numbers are telling the story economists believe they're telling, then the bad economy is sticking around for quite some time yet...sitting front row and center, with a bucket of popcorn, and ready for the greatest show on earth that's set to play in November.

Fighting this idiotic lawsuit on behalf of illegal immigrants isn't a distraction, its just the intermission.

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Is Obama's NASA Policy Lost In Space?

When you think things couldn't possibly get dumberer (its a word...when playing Scrabble with Biden...) with the Obama Administration, check out NASA Administrator Charles Bolden's attempt to employ the comedy's classic rule of three with Al Jazeera...

The FOREMOST item on NASA's agenda is to "reach out to the Muslim world?!?" to help them "feel good..."

Either somebody needs to get our president a cigarette, because he MUST be suffering from nicotine withdrawal, or Obama is bored with being president and now wants to be an Asstronaut.

I thought that NASA's agenda was to explore outer space! Not come up with a political policy that belongs there.

Unless I didn't dig deep enough, I'm totally unaware of a single nation in the Muslim world that has any space program to speak of. Russia and Japan, mentioned by Boden, do have their own programs. So other than experimenting on the effects zero gravity has on sand, car bombs, and mercy killings, what scientific contributions can the Muslim world seriously offer to any space program?

In other news, college students writing their thesis for a Masters Degree will now be required to reach out to the Kindergarten world for contributions in an effort to make them feel good about learning their ABC's.

Is this yet another example of what change looks like?


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Obama Gives Pelosi a 'Facelift'

Obama giving Pelosi an atomic wedgie

Click the image above to see a larger version.

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Would It Kill Hollywood to Make Movies Like This Again?

Would it really kill Hollywood to return to making movies with positive and (gasp) patriotic overtones? Nobody watches the anti-war, America bashing garbage they put out anyway.

From the marketing department that brought you President Barack Obama...

The first and only movie they're going to slip past me is Crapitar Avatar. Which by far is the most OVERRATED movie of all time, and that's without the Bush bashing anti-war undertones. I firmly believe that if we actually knew the plot of that flick, and didn't hear so much about how awesome the 3D technology was going to be, then most of us would've never given it the time of day. In the end we would've seen that instead of it being the highest grossing movie of all time it would've been more like James Cameron's sequel to Titanic.

Now, I have to confess I'm no connoisseur of old movies, and I'm starting to wonder why not. Thankfully my brother is, and he sent me this.

Happy July 4th...again!


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Happy Independence Day

I was at the beach with my wife yesterday, and at beginning of the pier at the beach stands a flag pole, and the American flag was waving in the wind.

I did what happens to me almost ever time I see our flag wave...I stared at it, and for the moment I was watching it the rest of the world didn't exist. I become totally lost in the beauty of its waving, and all of the significance that flag carries. I think about how awesome our country is, and how much pride I have inside of myself to be an American. That happens almost every time I see our flag wave. We are so blessed.

I also get sad that there are actually others out there who don't feel the same way, and that waving the flag is just so bourgeois, and that statements like this...

The longer I live, the more convincing proofs I see of this truth: that God governs in the affairs of men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without his aid?

-Benjamin Franklin

...sound more like the ravings of the superstitious than the acknowledgement of Truth required to keep this country as great as it is.

I want to say that our complacency with freedom makes such seeming contempt inevitable, but I can't believe it. Since the beginning of the American journey the wind of God's power and greatness has been at our back, and it continues to blow only so long as we know he's there. I know it's not easy, but not only do we have to continue to pray for God's blessing on our nation, we have to start encouraging each other to do so as well.

We are great because we asked God to make us great. If we lose that greatness there will be no other way to get it back except through Him.

When I pray for our country I pray that we never forget this Truth. I especially pray that our leaders remember it, and that those who have forgotten it will someday come to know it again.

May God Bless America, and may we continue to actively seek that blessing.

Happy Independence Day!

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Joe Biden's Long Lost Twin?

This is originally posted by BigFurHat over at iOwnTheWorld, and is too good to not share. Here is BigFurHat's description below:

On the left is “Walter,” (comedian) Jeff Dunham’s dummy.

The one on the right is Obama’s.

Biden double fisting ice cream and calling people smart ass is on The List, and it's AWESOME, and if you haven't seen it yet go there now, don't walk, run. They do a lot of the same things I do, but better and more often. Definitely one of my most favorite blogs.

If you don't know Walter, then the video below is your chance to meet him!

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