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The Congressman and the Haircut

Here is another great joke (I sort of use the word loosely here...you'll see why) that was sent to me via email thats too good to not share:


One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied,'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!

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Wrangling Rangel's Inevitable Resurrection

Other than hearing rumors that around the holidays if you place a glass of milk and a plate of race cards by a constitution burning fireplace he moves in to your home, pays below market rent and doesn't tell Congress, I don't actually know all that much about Charlie Rangel.

I can say that I don't understand what motivates the 80 year old to fight for a career he should have ended a generation ago so he wouldn't have to stick around long enough to get caught with 13 counts of ethics violations.

"You have started and executed the political crucifixion, but stay tuned for the political resurrection," says Al Sharpton at Rangel's 80th birthday party

Maybe its me, but I get such a spiritual charge out of hearing Sharpton getting all reverendy and comparing Rangel to Jesus Christ. I'm ashamed to admit that sometimes I wonder about about his credibility, and then he says something like this and all of my faith in him is restored in a manner not unlike the honor of the men he falsely accused of raping Tawana Brawley.

Unfortunately for democracy, chances are Sharpton is right. According to a source more reliable than Biden playing Jeopardy, Rangel's Wikipedia page points out how "Rangel has won re-election every two years since (his first election to Congress), often with over 90 percent of the vote."

This explains exactly why he's refusing to back down from the ethics charges he's facing right now, he NEVER has to work for the power he has been given and he feels entitled to it. I can understand how this can be when election nights for him since 1970 have been just another reason to have a party to celebrate being the least accountable congressman ever.

These are exactly the seeds with which corruption is sown and we're expected to believe Charlie has been totally impervious to all of it for the entire 40 years he has been in Congress. I don't know why he doesn't just tell the truth since his "resurrection" is inevitable anyway.

That said, I'm not really sure I want to know what resurrection looks like for a crusty 80 year old.....


Charlie Rangel Mummy


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How To Make Harry Reid Say Stupid Stuff

Last January Harry Reid activated his racist force-field and successfully deflected what would've been career ending condescension of blacks by extolling Obama's light skin and absent "Negro dialect" Well I guess he was experiencing withdrawals of some kind:

I don't know how anyone of Hispanic heritage could be a Republican, okay. Do I need to say more?

Sen. Harry Reid

............ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........................I'm going to go with yes, you do!!!

I know a lot of lay people who would say something so stupid, but why does a national leader like Harry Reid continue to open that hole of his and remove all doubt about the fool that he is? How do minorities allow themselves to be spoken of in such a way? Even if they're Democrats, how can they be ok with anyone saying they basically are too dumb to have minds of their own and they should act like the herd of cattle that morons like Reid think they are?

I don't know Sharon Angle, I'm sure she's a great lady. I would happily vote for her if I was a Nevadan, but Reid should hit his knees and thank God every day that Marco Rubio isn't his opponent. By Reid's litmus test that is one "CONFUSED" Hispanic that would smoke him like a Cuban in any debate, any day of the week.

"I" before "E" except after "C" explains the "Reid" perfectly

If Reid were a Republican the media would be investigating his personal tailor to find out what his hood size is, but he's a Democrat...the rules don't apply to him

Two can play at this game, by the way. How about I don't know how anyone of Zombie heritage could be a Republican....OKAY! Need I say more?

Even though zombies don't exist I'm going to go out on a limb and say I'm pretty sure my assertion is way more accurate.

The YouTube video with the remark didn't show what question, if any, led to this latest gem of brilliance from the honorable (a ha, a ha ha ha) majority leader of the Senate. Leaving me with the unenviable task of having to guess what would prompt such an answer. Feel free to share your guesses by commenting below:


Lets talk about the race for governor, your son doesn't want to use the family name, how would you like to change the subject?


Say something racist in 20 words or less....go!


Would you like to take this opportunity to dispel the vicious rumors that you’re an idiot?


Any comments on Sharon Angle’s preference of Burger King over Taco Bell?


Do Republicans share your passion for bringing telenovelas to PBS?


Why do Democrats think re-fried beans make good brain food?


Is that a picture of Castro on your race card?


Whats on your mouth? Taco sauce or lipstick?


They say dogs tend to look like their master, do you own a Chihuahua?


Why is Eva Longoria your favorite Desperate Housewife?


What's Spanish for "pandering little wiener?"


When he came to Washington how relieved were you that Scott Brown was a white dude?


How excited are you about the Hugo Chavez endorsement?



I know Reid is slightly ahead in the polls, but Sharon Angle has to try to lose running against idiocy like this.

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First Lady's Travels Reveal True Nature of Media Bias


For years we've been howling about how biased the media is in favor of liberals, and we've been wrong. Bias suggests its a little accidental, and I think they know exactly what they're doing. Wherever George Orwell is right now his hand must be sore from high-fiving all the souls around him because this president vindicates his prophesies.

Today's mainstream media has totally pulled back the bias mask to reveal the full-blown propagandists that they are for all things Democrat. Their naked defense of Michelle Obama's trip to Spain has been just too much to take.

This proxy for the DNC press office is trying to act like its a bunch of right-wing bluster to criticize how the First Lady wants to take a load of in Spain on her nickel and our dime. They want to say that the cost to us is a drop in the bucket relative to, say, the average drop in the "working class's" 401K...soooooooooooooooooo, NO BIG DEAL?

(sigh) BIG FREAKIN' DEAL!. This president and first lady are acting like monarchs more than elected public servants, and they think we are either too stupid to know what they are doing, or too distracted to care.

I'll help them out...ITS NEITHER! Too many of us still remember how these sycophants eviscerated Sarah Palin in 2008 for wearing clothes paid for, and ultimately returned to the stores where they were purchased, by the RNC. Unlike the global frolics of the media's deities-in-chief, taxpayer money WAS NOT taken to pay for any of it.

Better yet, how about the days of George W. Bush not being able to take a leak without them spinning it into how "Bush once Again Seeks Escape to Relieve Himself of Life's Pressures, Sparking Speculation Dick is Actually In Charge.", let alone take a working "vacation" at his Texas ranch.

They beat us 'cuz they love us

If you listen to the arrogance in the tone of Cokie "is how I form my opinions" Roberts it just sounds like she is trying to simultaneously condescend and reassure that our negative perception of Queen Michelle's excellent adventure is totally bogus, and we really should wait for trained professionals to give us our opinion about it before we make our brains bleed.

By the way Cokie, I've heard better excuses from the mouths of the idiots on Cheaters

Seriously, I'm waiting for the day when these fools start a broadcast with "you are getting veeeeeerrrrrrry sleepy..."

I don't want to parrot at great length how economically out of touch the Obamas really are, because it's oh so self evident by now anyway. I do want to point out they could've taken almost all of the wind out of their critics sails by chartering a private flight on their dime instead of using Air Force 2, so they can finally let Biden have it.

This is why they hate Fox News and the internet so much. They're the airholes in the jar the mainstream media has trapped us in.

Organizing is hard... socks, canned food... race cards...

Can anyone imagine a USA without either of those lifelines to honest discourse? Bolshevik Obama's paradigm shift would've won out before he was even done organizing communities in that utopia formerly known as Chicago.

I never thought I would say this, but the only monarchs I want to see in America are the butterflies and the only queen I want to see in politics is Barney Frank.

I REALLY wish there was a way to collect a refund on our crappy leadership. Talk about erasing the national debt.

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First Lady's Spanish Vacation Reveals Painful Secret for Biden...


Portrait of Biden's Air Force 2


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Renaming Recovery.gov To Reflect Reality

So here's the deal, recovery.gov needs its name changed to something more realistic, heres what I think certain people would suggest. Add your ideas by commenting below!

Rahm Emmanuel: getf**kedupandraisetaxeswoooohoooo.gov


John Kerry: close-loopholes.gov/or-theyll-miss-the-boat


Nancy Pelosi: dont-tax-my-stuff.com/botox


Tim Geithner: notmyproblem.gov/haha


Vice President Biden: recession.bfd


President Obama: cling2change.gov/yours


Al Gore: buycarboncredits.mobi/private-jet


Chris Dodd: i-gots-mine.net/gain/countrywide


Hillary Clinton: howdoyoulikemenow.f.u/2012


Eric Holder: i-dont-read.info/?recession


Barney Frank: no-fannie_yes-freddie.org/y


Michelle Obama: my-sacrifice-is-none-of-your.biz


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Top 10 New Ideas From Team Obama

Ever since Obama' started chastising the GOP for not coming up with "new" ideas, I've been wondering what "new" ideas could be originating from his administration...


10. Point out how our trillion dollar deficits meet the goal of avoiding gazillion dollar deficits.


9. Hire the first official White House chiropractor under the code name, "Dr. Obowma."


8. Make it crystal clear that the president TOTALLY opposes gay marriage....except in cases where the participants are straight (or gay)...seriously though...yuck... ;-D


7. Muslim outreach will include NASA putting Mars on hold until the president knows the effects of zero gravity on jihad.


6. Extol the virtuous dichotomy of the First Lady being both Obesity Czar and Secretary of Let-Them-Eat-Cake.


5. The president should golf A LOT so the public can associate him with a hero like Tiger Woods.


4. The TOTUS's suggested to the FLOTUS that if its cool with the SCOTUS the POTUS should appoint Barney Frank to a newly formed office of HOMOTUS.


3. 90% employment places our economic policy at a 10% rate of success.


2. The president can NEVER be wrong....we need to find 7 more states.


1. Restore the death tax so we can collect a fortune on killing the American Dream.

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Tiger Woods Joins Congress?


Tiger Woods becomes honorary congressman


If its tough to read you can click the image to see a larger version.

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I Believe Al Franken Is Sorry

Senator Mitch McConnell gave Al Franken a piece of his mind after being mocked by him in the Senate chambers during his speech in opposition to Elena Kagan's confirmation to the Supreme Court.

I'm glad to hear Franken was apologetic to McConnell after being reminded he is no longer a writer for Saturday Night Live and doesn't have to be unfunny in the Senate too. To be fair, he absolutely did the right thing, but it came only after being taken to task for it.

What if he wasn't? Would he still have been sorry? Did it really have to take a parental scolding for him to actually become self-aware of his teenage antics this time?

Honestly, what does Minnesota have to say for themselves? They gave us a senator who talks and acts like the ventriloquist dummy that he looks like more than than the statesman he should be. He's had a year and a half of practice being an adult now and he still can't get it together when he's presiding over the United States Senate?

"He (McConnell) is entitled to give his speech with the presiding officer just listening respectfully." said Franken

YEAH, NO KIDDING!

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for forgiveness, and he did apologize. So this issue is pretty much done, I guess. But now I want to know how many more apologies would it take before Minnesota realizes what many of us in the country already know....

That Al Franken really is sorry.

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Michelle Obama Antoinette

Sacrifice is something that many Americans are becoming all too familiar with during this economic downturn. It was a key theme in President Obama's inaugural address to the nation, and he's referenced it numerous times when lecturing the country on how to get back on its feet.

But while most of the country is pinching pennies and downsizing  summer sojourns - or forgoing them altogether - the Obamas don't seem to be heeding their own advice. While many of us are struggling, the First Lady is spending the next few days in a five-star hotel on the chic Costa del Sol in southern Spain with 40 of her "closest friends." According to CNN, the group is expected to occupy 60 to 70 rooms, more than a third of the lodgings at the 160-room resort. Not exactly what one would call cutting back in troubled times.

Reports are calling the lodgings of  Obama's Spanish fiesta, the Hotel Villa Padierna in Marbella, "luxurious," "posh" and "a millionaires' playground." Estimated room rate per night? Up to a staggering $2,500. Method of transportation? Air Force Two.

To be clear, what the Obamas do with their money is one thing; what they do with ours is another. Transporting and housing the estimated 70 Secret Service agents who will flank the material girl will cost the taxpayers a pretty penny.


Read the rest of this astute New York Post editorial by Andrea Tartaros here.

I don't know how these people sleep at night, I truly don't, but I do know that Michelle's official portrait needs a redo. I also know what Michelle Antoinette's portrait should look like (click the image to see a larger version)...


Michelle Obama Antoinette


As the self-appointed Obesity Czar she's actually worse than a modern day Marie Antoinette because she wouldn't even let us eat cake.

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