I was going to do a post about this, but Bob sums up my sentiments perfectly, and better than I could've done it...
Get more rants like this one at Drinking With BobAdd a comment
Even though it's practically over before it started, I thought I would give this a shot. This post is probably the first one I've done that has something for both sides of the aisle...
10. To paraphrase the silver medalist in the 2004 presidential campaign. I was for the individual mandate before I was against it.
9. Who doesn't want a president with Janet Reno hair?
8. Horny as a three-wife RINO.
7. Doing with words what Trumps hair couldn't, disqualify myself.
6. It's time I got a new
marriage certificate Contract with America.
5. At least I married MY intern.
4. America, I solemnly swear not to leave you on your deathbed for something younger and hotter, like China.
3. On inauguration day your new Vice President will have been running mate number three.
2. GOPublic Frenemy #1
1. Hey conservatives, prepare to get NewteredAdd a comment
It would be hilarious to see which baskets the Democrats put all of their eggs into when it comes to their rhetoric on debt reduction if it wasn't so sad. For the last few months it was all about raising taxes on the rich, and now they see oil in that thar capital hill.
As the New York Times puts it the, Senate Refuses to End Tax Breaks for Big Oil. They REFUSED, the measure wasn't voted down, it was REFUSED, like it was dignity, offered up on a silver platter, to Charlie Sheen buried under a porn star dog pile.
The Senate on Tuesday blocked a Democratic proposal to strip the five leading oil companies of tax breaks that backers of the measure said were unfairly padding industry profits while consumers were struggling with high gas prices.
How unfair are they Democrats? On a scale of 1 to hypocrisy, how is profit taking unfair?
I'm not interested in being a shill for the oil industry, but this mentality of being entitled to the assets of a private business is something that bugs me for two reasons....
The only thing worse than that is they can't even get their story straight about what they're trying to do. The article starts with calling them tax breaks and ends with the White House calling them subsidies. So which one is it?!? Tax break or subsidy?
The difference is like saying that Obama scored a 37 during an adventure to the bowling alley, and then shows a scorecard of 73 while bragging that he had his staffers actually remove the bumpers (or tax breaks) beforehand.
Under the proposal, Democrats would have eliminated five different tax breaks (remember Obama called them subsidies) enjoyed by the multinational oil companies, producing an estimated $21 billion over 10 years.
I know every dollar counts now when you have a deficit that's so high it causes lunar eclipses, but is it just me who is noticing that while the GOP is interested in focusing on the root causes of our spending problem, out-of-control entitlements, liberals are more interested in attacking, with taxes, things they don't like?
Why must they always despise the very aspects of our economy that actually drive it's success while focusing on preserving the parts that drain it?
That would be a lot harder to argue against if rich people and oil companies really could close the deficit, in the name of fairness to the Americans who pay little to literally nothing in comparison, of course....but Democrats think $2.1 billion annually in ASSUMED increased revenue must pass, or deficit reduction is put in jeopardy? Really?
How many times do liberals have to fail at the logic of economics before we take the poop they drop on the nation and rub their nose in it while yelling "NO!" "BAD DONKEY." AKA Jill Biden's nightly ritual with her husband.Add a comment
A lot of commentators are breathing in paper bags over the GOP selection we have to choose from thus far. I'm not worried yet because we are many months away from the first primary, but I do have to wonder why the biggest names in the race are people who high five themselves after scoring in their own goal.
If ObamaCare never passed Mitt Romney would have one foot on solid ground and one in the Mormon quicksand and he would've been sinking only half as fast as his is now. Even though he is so plastic he could be Barbie's father-in-law, he could've had a shot this time with the backdrop of an 4 years of Obama's liberal iron fist behind him.
Then Newt Gingrich has decided he wants to be the GOPublic frenemy number 1. Even if he didn't agree with Paul Ryan's approach rather than set his bold proposal ablaze he could've shifted the topic of conversation to his six figure Tiffany's debt before Politico did.
I frankly don't care what Newt thinks of Paul Ryan anymore, unless he's opting for charm braclets over bumper stickers and yard signs, I want to know how a dude puts what amounts to a house into a jewelry store.
Newt really does seem hell bent on becoming a party of one, and that's something that tells me he probably should've though a little harder than the diamonds encrusted on his kind of jewelry store invoices before declaring his candidacy.
The rest of the field is a who's who...but not in the sense of stating who they are so much as we're asking. For example, Tim Pawlenty sounds like a guy who would be the owner of a pet store more than a presidential candidate, and because they hate her so much I think more Democrats know Michelle Bachmann than Republicans.
This, despite what the media wants us to believe, is probably a good thing. Do you want those Obamaton's them sniffing their butts? Give them a chance to build a campaign, away from the thin ice Romney and Gingrich stand on, and hopefully they can wow us when it really matters, during the primaries.
How exciting does the Republican have to be anyway? Yeah, McCain made paperweights look animated, but the nation insisted on being seduced by Obama before we could give him a chance to ask his doctor (much less us) about Valtrex.
He'd rather golf with his buddies and go on vacations than work on our relationship. We've been feeling like he said all those nice things in 2008 just to get us in the sack, and it wasn't even good enough to make the burning worth it.
We deserve better. If that means lame and boring is better, then its copies of the "Path to Prosperity," American flags made in China, and "you betchas" for everybody!Add a comment
What's a good campaign slogan for a presidential candidate seeking the nomination of his party by slamming it????
I like Newt, or rather, I want to like Newt....but now I think Joe Biden has a better chance of winning the GOP nomination than he does.
If he were to win, after I check whether or not Jesus has returned, I would ask how he proposes to govern with a congress where one side totally hates him, and the other side is the Democrats.Add a comment
If America is still the land of opportunity then I want to be allowed to perform at least one brain surgery before I die. I don't have a medical degree, and I don't ever intend to go to school to learn anything that would be important to know before grabbing a scalpel....but I am tired of people telling me something "isn't exactly brain surgery" while I remain completely in the dark about whether or not it's actually true.
If you're a high school senior the only thing you should need to receive your diploma is a pulse, because nobody deserves to spend a life sentence stuck in burger flipping hell for taking civics and geometry seriously.
In fact, any level of expectation, testing, and certfication, we impose on each other to be qualified to do anything should be abolished in the name of the Constitution's "pursuit of happiness clause."
Why is this worth mentioning? Well, because Newt Gingrich ripped off his face to reveal the pointed white sheet underneath it when he expressed what is being interpreted as a return of the poll test that was outlawed by the 1965 Voting Rights Act.
I know the key difference between everything listed above, and voting, is that voting is a right that is protected by law. It should be protected. It's important that tampering with such institutions remain limited to making sure people registered to vote and live in parking lots and abandoned buildings, people who live in convalescent homes and aren't in their right mind, and the dead all vote Democrat.
We have tests for everything, but voting for people, who will essentially be trusted to rule over our lives without letting their power turn them into Darth Vader, is something that should be unconditionally granted to people who would beg for hints if you asked them to spell USA.
Liberals think those people should not have to prove to us they are intelligent enough to understand what wielding that kind of power means.
Rights that do not flow from duty well performed are not worth having.
What a bunch of crap...unless he can show me his long form birth certificate who gives a rip what this guy has to say...right?...
"Whenever the people are well informed, they can be trusted with their own government; that whenever things get so far wrong as to attract their notice, they may be relied on to set them to rights."
Great, another guy who wasn't an American citizen when he was born.
With the second amendment being the sole exception, liberals are the only ones who act like rights are allowed to be abused, because they're the beneficiaries of the abuse. Liberals can hide behind race all they want, but stupidity isn't one, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say Newt Gingrich would agree.
I could go on and on, or we can take a trip down memory lane and see why liberals don't want even basic political intelligence to be a factor in whether people should be allowed to have a voice in a Democracy.
These Obama supporters, and President Obama himself have proven that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction...is not the case here.
Idiots who vote don't elect competent geniuses. Liberals don't care about the second part of that equation, and count on the first part.Add a comment
So Donald isn't running for president after all. SURPRISE SURPRISE!
A lot of people believed it would be so. The polls wouldn't have put him at/near the top of the heap otherwise.
It's obvious to me why he was going to say no all along....
It's not the fact that this was all really about pumping up his show.
It's not the fact that this isn't the first time he has strung the country along like this.
It's not the fact that he can't take a joke even as he continues to expects the country to take him.
It's not the fact that the Obama birth certificate issue, the gravy that hid the way he really tastes, was more or less over.
It's not the fact that his wife can't be hot, first lady, and a trophy wife...that's like walking, chewing gum, and counting out her breasts. That's a lot of pressure for a Manhattan socialite.
It's not even that he blew himself up last month in Las Vegas giving a speech that was little more than an f-bomb laced tirade confused for a tribute to Rahm Emanuel.
He had a lot of support to run, but I don't think he could get it from his loudest advocate, who is simultaneously his greatest asset and weakness.
I think Donald realized it wouldn't hold firm to the rigors of a national campaign....having to live in a campaign bus, shake hands with it's fans, kiss babies, bite it's tongue around bald people....
Truth be told, I don't think we would be able to take it either.Add a comment
So Mr. Osama liked himself some forbidden fruit. Here are some possible titles....I'll try not to be too gross here....that makes it really hard.
10. Burka Bombshells and the Women Who Wear Them.
9. Poke A Hole in My Burka And I'll Show You My Eye Rack.
8. Girls Gone Wild: Naughty Nubile Kneecaps.
7. Two Chicks, One Dynamite Stick
6. Wives Swap
5. Oh My Ewe Can Blow Me Up Anytime
4. Raid my Compound, starring PakAssStan.
3. Wrappy Headed Hoes
2. H-c-c-c-ustlers Married, Prepubescent and Fairly Legal.
1. My Husband Had Me at Hell No.Add a comment
Someone has never seen a picture of Obama shirtless, and thus decided it would be great to make him into a Seal Team 6 action figure.
Some of the features on it include the following:
When it fires the gun from a pitchers mound the bullets don't reach home plate.
The hands cling to the gun with an adhesive that tastes really bitter.
The parts of the toy are easy to detach so it can be spread around to kids whose parents can't afford one.
Can only be played with if other Seal Team 6 figures are around, since it refuses to be anything but lookout.
As a promotional gimmick to sell more of them there is a compartment in the butt, and 1 in 1000 toys has an ObamaCare waiver in it.
Can double as a human shield for the version with Biden.
A bit of trivia, the artwork on the shirt was the original logo for Obama's presidential campaign.
Last, but not least, it can also talk...