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Juicy Details From a WikiLeaks Data Dump

There has been a lot of hullabaloo about the leaked details of our espionage and foreign policy dealings around the world, but there are tons of juicy details that the media has been completely overlooking.

Hillary Clinton once asked Kim Jong Il if that was his rapper name.

Janet Reno was in negotiations with Angela Merkel to become president of a newly reformed East Germany

An alphabetically confused Biden insisted that the "d" in his last name be capitalized because he was tired of being reminded his name wasn't misspelled.

In addition to an iPod President Obama also presented Queen Elizabeth with a Burger King crown and asked her thoughts on this "prototype" for the American one.

An email by Robert Gibb's of a Shakespearean sonnet was passed on to scientists elated that to see it was typed successfully, and without the need to fill the room with other monkeys.

Bill Clinton was client number 10 through 16

Janet Napolitano justified her opposition to building a fence on the Mexican border by pointing to the fall of the Berilin Wall.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was considering a political comeback by running for president of the Austrian chapter of his Kennedy family fan club.

John Kerry has a Vietnamese pen pal who uses his last name as an alias while working as a shemale prostitute.

Helen Thomas once tried to patent the ugly tree

Using "find and replace" to edit the f-bombs out of Rahm Emmanuel's emails caused WikiLeaks computers to catch fire

Foreign ambassadors enjoy flying with Biden because he thinks singing "the wheels on the bus" makes Air Force 2 go

A cash strapped Klu Klux Klan turned in their costumes and started trying to sell Muslim women on the idea of keeping cool in the summer with white-detachable-top-burkas

Janet Napolitano was client number 17

The CIA has been tracking long distance phone calls by Dennis Kucinich to his brother Gollum in Middle Earth

Jimmy Carter routinely leaks state secrets from his administration to the only member of Congress he trusted unconditionally, Alan Grayson

Barney Frank once inquired about a Vietanamese hooker who went by "Kerry"

In the last 5 years the only people to obtain written transcripts of anything produced by MSNBC has been WikiLeaks