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Conservative Satire Headlines June 7-11

Here are the latest additions to the Satire Headlines Archive (starting with the most recent):



DURING VISIT TO GULF OBAMA CALLS DIBS ON TARBALLS SO HE CAN SAVE MONEY AT HIS DRIVING RANGE - June 11

HELEN THOMAS CONFESSES RESENTMENT OF JEWS BEGAN AS A LITTLE GIRL GETTING "JERKED AROUND BY THIS MOSES GUY" - June 11

HARRY REID POINTS OUT SAME RASMUSSEN POLL SHOWS HIM BEATING SHARON ANGLE IF THE DECIDING FACTOR WAS FEMININITY - June 10

PETA FILES CLASS ACTION SUIT CHARGING IRAN WITH SLANDER AFTER CALLING UN SANCTIONS "ANNOYING FLIES" - June 10

CAUGHT IN ANOTHER CASE OF SELECTIVE HEARING BARNEY FRANK APOLOGIZES TO OBAMA FOR OFFERING UP HIS "ASS TO SLICK" - June 9

BIDEN'S IDEA TO CLEAN OIL SPILL BY DUMPING "GAS GUZZLING" SUV'S IN OCEAN REJECTED AFTER CAREFUL CONSIDERATION - June 9

FLORIDA OIL CLEAN UP CONTINUES AFTER MAGIC GENIE GRANTS A CHOICE BETWEEN THE SLICK OR A RETIRED HELEN THOMAS - June 8

MINUTES AFTER ANNOUNCING RETIREMENT HELEN THOMAS IS OFFERED JOB AT DISNEYLAND  AS THE WITCH FROM SNOW WHITE - June 7

OBAMA SAYS DEALING WITH OIL SPILL RATES SOMEWHERE ON HIS "BUMMER SCALE" BETWEEN RIM SHOTS AND DOUBLE BOGEYS - June 7