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Satire Headlines Archive Update January 14-25

Here are the latest additions to the Satire Headlines archive

UPON SAYING HE WOULD RATHER BE REALLY GOOD ONE-TERM PRESIDENT OBAMA IS ASKED TO DEFINE "REELECTION" - January 25

TRANSCRIPTS OF OBAMA'S ELEMENTARY SCHOOL SPEECH USING TELEPROMPTERS ARE LEAKED, "A-B-C-D-E-F-G...." - January 25

BIDEN INFORMED THAT ROE VS. WADE ANNIVERSARY IS NOT ABOUT THE CHOICE OF USING BOATS INSTEAD OF SWIMMING - January 22

FACING PUBLIC OPPOSITION OBAMA REFUSES TO "WALK AWAY" FROM HEALTH CARE, “IT WOULDN'T BE FAST ENOUGH” - January 22

ARLEN SPECTER TELLS MICHELLE BACHMAN TO ACT LIKE A "LADY," GIVES HER DEMONSTRATION - January 21

ELIZABETH EDWARDS SUCCESSFULLY REMOVES TUMOR WITHOUT SURGERY ACCORDING TO HER DIVORCE LAWYER - January 21

JOHN EDWARDS ADMITS PATERNITY OF LOVE CHILD AS PEOPLE BEGIN TO SEE HOW SHE HAS HIS GIRLISH GOOD LOOKS - January 21

NICOTINE ADDLED OBAMA HOLDS POST ELECTION MEETING IN WHITE HOUSE BATHROOM, SAYS THE TOILET “GETS HIM”- January 20

SENATE PASSES RESOLUTION CALLING FOR TED KENNEDY'S GRAVE TO BE EXHUMED SO SCOTT BROWN CAN TURN IT OVER - January 20

MAN TURNED AWAY FROM MASSACHUSETTS POLL AFTER FAILING TO SHOW ID FOR REGISTERED NAME, B.O. TELEPROMPTER - January 19

OBAMA PRAISES ACORN'S GRASSROOTS EFFORT TO TRANSPORT VOTERS FROM ALL STATES TO THE POLLS FOR COAKLEY - January 19

ED SCHULTZ CLARIFIES VOTERS SHOULDN'T CHEAT IN MASSACHUSETTS SENATE RACE, ONLY ACORN, FRANKEN'S LAWYERS - January 18

PATRICK KENNEDY SAYS "MARCIA" WAS SLIP OF THE TONGUE AND "OF COURSE" HE KNOWS MARTHA CHOAKLEY'S NAME - January 18

or...PATRICK KENNEDY SAYS "MARCIA" WAS SLIP OF THE TONGUE AND "OF COURSE" HE KNOWS MARTHA CROAKLEY'S NAME - January 18

DEMS WORRIED GOP'S SCOTT BROWN REPLACING TED KENNEDY IN SENATE WILL TARNISH THE FAMILY'S GOOD NAME - January 16

SCHUMER EMAIL CALLING SCOTT BROWN A TEABAGGER IS MIX UP WITH EMAIL WARNING MEN-DON'T DATE BARNEY FRANK - January 14