Obama Cancels Pardon Of Thanksgiving Turkey, Noting Presidents Should Not Pardon Themselves

Biden Boasts If Senate Dems Had Only 59 Votes For Health Care Debate He Could've Been The Tie-Breaker

Obama Issues Reminder To Not Let The Dc Sniper's Execution Make Us "Jump To Conclusions" Over His Guilt

20 Years After Fall Of Berlin Wall Biden Recalls How He Got The News From A Text Message On His Cell Phone

Barney Frank Disappointed To Learn The Uncle Sam "I Want You" Poster Is Not Directly Meant For Him

Senator Reid Complains No Public Health Option Means He'll Never Afford Sex Change To Become A Real Man

California Closes Budget Gap In Deal With Parker Brothers Allowing The State To Pass Go Any Time It Needs To

Ahmadinejad Un Speech Interrupted By Kanye West Drunken Tirade Giving Props To North Korean Nuclear Program

After Formal Rebuke Vote Dems Hold Joe Wilson Up As Warning To North Korea And Iran They Could Be Next

Un Advocates Teaching Masturbation To Kids So Governments Are Free To Do Other Things While The People Screw Themselves

Rio De Janeiro Wins 2016 Olympics Defeating Tokyo, Madrid, And Chicagobama

Jimmy Carter Reveals Secret Source Of Post-Presidential Wisdom: "I Am What I Farm"

While Preparing For Big Health Care Speech Obama Orders Biden To Stop Calling Him "Barocky"

Reigning Staring Contest Champion Nancy Pelosi Under Fire For Allegations She Uses Performance Enhancing Botox.

New Poll Finds Death Panels Now More Popular Than Congress